Lisa's Rough Drafts

Temptation.

2011-12-29T20:45:00.002-07:00

He was a gift I was able to resist. He was my ex-husband re-packaged.

While it's hard to believe another potential man is gone, wrapped up in another relationship, in another way it's a relief to realize that I resisted something that was very enticing, but not right for me.

He lived in a place that I wanted to live. He made lots of money (at least he alluded to this). He was friendly and seemed to have a large external network. He played "host" on many occasions. He was technical. He was living with tragedy in his life. He enjoyed playing. I wanted all of these. But I couldn't fall in love with him just to have them. I needed to be in love with him, to share them.

But on occasions I heard echos of my ex-husband in him. I felt pressure to be with him. From him. And I wanted to. Yet I hadn't developed a physical attraction to him yet. It felt like a dating relationship would be imbalanced. There was neither a physical nor emotional bond, yet he wanted me to date. I put up a boundary and said that I couldn't. For several reasons I couldn't. If I had taken down that boundary, I think we would both be miserable now. Even if there was something that could have been right, that would have been wrong.

Maybe he was on the right track though. As far as the dating thing is concerned. Maybe I should just stay single until the right guy shows up. That way, I would be healed from anything in my past. Or it wouldn't be in my face as it is now.

Mountain Meadows

2011-10-23T22:09:00.000-06:00

Well...this isn't the most stunning photo of the day, nor the best I've ever taken. But it leaves me feeling warm. Probably warmer than the day actually was. You see, I love mountain meadows. And I love being there with my dog. The only thing that would make a mountain meadow more wonderful than it already is, would be to share it with the man that I love; wherever he may be.

Late this morning, I was driving myself up the Guenella Pass scenic by way. I visited the pass for the first time about 10 years ago. It's hard to believe that I haven't been back since, considering I spent less than 15 minutes there and wanted so desperately to come back and hike.

Today, I went alone. It was the only choice I had. But as I drove the road by myself, I was glad I took a chance to take this journey by myself. I know it sounds corny, but my heart felt like it was singing to be so close to Colorado wilderness. Really that's all I need. To be close. Or to feel safe with someone else as we travel cross country, off trail.

I like to be away from the crowds, and on this fall day, almost no one was interested in driving a road that peaked in color weeks ago. Even the passing cars were hard to hear over the stream. I felt so lucky.

The road had changed. I remembered it being bumpy and broken. It was a dirt road past a certain point back then. The Ford Explorer was zipping so fast and bumping all over the place, back then, that I feared we might bump right into Georgetown's water supply. But today, the road was smooth. It was rennovated. I had an easy drive to the top and back down. Best of all, even though I was alone, this gave me lots of time to think. To think about the direction my life is taking. I realized, I'm tired of driving these roads alone. I'm tired of hiking alone or wanting to try something new alone.

Of course Mira kept me company. She was a good companion. She always wants to go where I want to go :) And coincindentally will leave when I want to leave :) All kidding aside though, I want a human companion who can share life with me. So that I don't have to do it alone.

2011-10-19T22:30:00.005-06:00

I miss her in one way or another every day. Wish she was still here. Hope that I did the right thing. But today, my "Trinity" thought, came to me via Mira. Mira is my 5 year old German Shepherd. When Trinity was alive, I used to wonder what each of them did during the day while I was at work. Trinity must have been in the bedroom writing a memoir or solving the world's energy crisis. Mira was probably sleeping in a pile of tennis balls in the living room, twitching with dreams of chasing them. I never really thought Mira was that bright. Just loveable. Trinity was the genius.

But my opinion of Mira has changed. On Sunday, she was one of a few dogs to pass the herding instinct test at Valdamar Farms. I was impressed to watch her figure out a technique and see the sheep as a group. I didn't even know what she was supposed to be doing.

Today, I took her for a walk down in Golden. I taught her how to heel at my side. There are definitely things to work on, but her precision in turning to the right is amazing. Her confidence and trust in me as a handler, when other dogs pass, is incredible. She is happy to be praised and happy to work well. I don't know if she's a genius or not. I don't need her to be. The smile she put on my face today and last Sunday is enough for me. Love you Mira :)

Paw Prints

2011-09-29T22:06:00.001-06:00

Today I received a card in the mail from Deer Creek Veterinary clinic. When I saw the envelope, I thought it was either a condolence card or a letter telling me that her ashes were available for pick up.

I opened the envelope and it was a card. But when I opened it, I saw an ink paw print of Trinity's. I was overwhelmed. I can't explain it. It's just pure grief. I've never seen something and cried and been brought back to that raw moment of death so quickly.

I remembered burying my face in her shoulder fur. Holding her head, and the whole front of her body in my arms. The doctor injecting a pinkish liquid into her hind leg. The inability to ask if "that" was the stuff that would make her heart stop. For some reason, I thought there was a pre-injection. Then realizing that it was happening. Not being able to watch the plunger run out of liquid. Burying my head in her fur. Hearing her say, "Her heart's still beating. I gave her enough for a 200 lb. dog. She has a very strong heart."

I wondered if I should pull away to let her know it was okay to go. I decided not to. She was smart enough to know when to go. It hurt to hear that she had a strong heart. That physically her body could have kept on going. I didn't want it to stop. I sobbed into to her fur and cried "Trinity. I love you. I love you Trinity" over and over again. It was like a bad funeral.

"She's gone," the vet said. I still held her for a few minutes until I could feel that she was really gone. It was surreal. I stood up and wiped my eyes. The rest of the afternoon, I tried to be happy. I even took Mira and Kahlan to the lake, with Jon. I laughed and smiled as Kahlan bounded through the wake after a stick and swam for the first time. I sympathized with Mira who retrieved the stick, but really wanted to go back to shore. I could have good dog memories for a short time before the grief would come to haunt me and remind me of all the things that I didn't do with my best friend.

Now...Mira is my best friend. She has been with Trinity and I since she was one and a half. She's a little over five now. Kahlan is Trinity's daughter. I am having trouble bonding to her. Because really all I want is Trinity and Mira. Any variation, it's hard to imagine.

Last week this time...

2011-09-29T21:50:00.001-06:00

I learned this mind-set growing up. Last year this time, we were in Gatlinburg. Or last month at this time, my cousin Holly was still here for the summer. I realized today that I haven't played this game yet with Trinity and her life. I've been so caught up in her loss, that I forgot. I'm glad I forgot. But what the heck.

Last week at this time, I was deluding myself with her health. A week ago Tuesday, she had a seizure. I came home and she didn't come out of the bedroom. That was not abnormal, so I didn't panic. Then I heard a whimper come from the bedroom. It's the only whimper I've ever heard her make. I found her on my bedroom floor, having a seizure. She had pee'd on the carpet. I moved her away from it, so she wouldn't lay it. Then she didn't get up. She didn't get up for 3 hours. I called Jon and told him he would probably have to come to my house in the morning and carry her to my car for me. I laid down next to her a lot and cried. I begged her to get up. I told her if she wanted to live, then she needed to get up. I went to bed late, and shortly thereafter, she stood up and walked. I was thrilled. Beyond words.

So let's continue the game. A month ago, she was not my Trinity at all. Even further away from the one I said good-bye to on Saturday. Something had gone wrong with the medicine or her brain. She wouldn't look at me. I felt like I had lost her already.

Two months ago, she was in a semi-normal state, after her "trinity" of seizures. She was shaking my hand, licking me in the face (with horrible breath), jumping up on the bed, and walking okay. She wasn't normal, but she wasn't too far off. I could live with the new Trinity she had become.

Three months ago, I believe, she had her first seizure. Jon and I think it was a heat stroke. She had it on one of the hottest days of the summer. I was so relieved to hear he had stopped it. I was in Alaska on a cruise.

Four months ago, she was my Trinity! I think Kahlan may have been living with us still. She and Kahlan played very well together. I was extremely impressed with how gentle she was with her daughter. She would wrestle with Kahlan, sometimes knocking her down and sometimes allowing herself to be turned over on her back. Kahlan was fairly serious about the whole thing, but Trinity only gently bit at her legs and mouthed her neck.

Five months ago....

Six months ago she was going to bite Tessa. I was so angry with her. I made her pay for that. She ruined Tessa's show career by putting a notch in her ear. She wasn't allow to go to Jon's for three weeks, which meant she got very little exercise. I feel so terrible over that. It was my fault for not holding the leash tight enough. It was my fault that she could lunge at all. It was her hormone's fault for causing her to lash out in aggression. Her hormone's were all over the place from the spay.

Seven months ago, she had just been spayed. I spayed her because I didn't want to take the chance that she would develop a life-threatening uteran infection. I didn't want her to have anymore puppies, because she wasn't the best with child birth and had developed a mammary gland infection with her last litter. I also hated the bleeding in the house when she was in season. I think the spay was too hard on her. I'll never spay an older female again. I'll take the chance on the infection and deal with it the best I can. She was never the same after the spay. Her coat became overly thick and she couldn't blow it. Her emotions were all over the place. Really laid back, then suddenly aggressive. She wasn't the same. I liked her personality just fine before.

Eight months ago, her last litter of puppies were going home. I was in San Diego. I desperately wanted the long haired puppy, but I wanted a show puppy too. I miss Bella, but I am glad she has a perfect home in Boulder. I wish I could move in :)

Nine months ago, it was the new year. I had just returned from Christmas in Ohio. We didn't spend her last Christmas together. But we did spend New Years :)

Ten months ago, Trinity was almost ready to have her last litter of puppies. It was her easiest litter to birth and her first litter with Ronin. He was the first dog to breed her naturally. The whole thing was natural. I loved it. Every moment of it. Each and every one of those puppies were special to the core.

Eleven months ago, she was getting ready to turn six. I was panicking. I felt like she was getting old and I couldn't imagine my life without her. At first I counted wrong and thought she was getting ready to turn seven. I was relieved when I realized she would only be six. I would have at least four to five good years with her. I hoped she would live to be thirteen or fourteen. One of those lucky few. Because then I would have as many years left as I had already spent with her.

Twelve months ago, she was bred naturally for the first time. What a long ways we've come.

I wish

2011-09-27T23:16:00.001-06:00

I wish I had taken her camping more. She was such a brave and independent spirit; she would have relished mountain tops.

I remember this camping trip when she was 8 months old. We went to the campground near Brainard lake, just west of Ward, CO. It was the second time I used this tent. She didn't sleep as well as when it was just her and me. She threw up on the way to the campsite, because it was up a windy road. That was somehow my fault, as was the tree that my "ex" ran into. On a relational level, the trip sucked. On a Trinity level, it was a success.

This was the last time Trinity ever went camping. After that, life became crazy. My "ex" and I went through a period of marital counseling, followed by a divorce. I was always so "out of time" after that, and afraid somehow to camping with just the two of us. She also developed an aggression issue that we had to address. I can only imagine how hard the divorce must have been on her. She lost a person in her life, her home, a backyard, time with her mommy (who now had sparse spare time), stability, and so much more.

But she gave, love, protection, devotion...even when I tried to give her away. About a year after the divorce, I went through a very difficult time and didn't think I could care for her any longer. I offered her back to my ex. Thankfully, he declined but he said that she was anxious for me every day that he stayed with him. When I returned to me, she was so happy to see me. She healed me with her love. The way she never wanted to be away from my side and would find a way to be near me. She would curl up at my feet and put her weight against me. I loved that.

Physical loss

2011-09-26T22:22:00.001-06:00

I lost my German Shepherd, Trinity, on Saturday. She had not been well since mid-July. I had to put her on anti-seizure medicine and I felt like I lost her in many ways then. These past few weeks she had several more seizures. Saturday morning she couldn't get up. It's strange how you think you've lost something, because you lost their personality. But when you can't put your arms around them and put your fingers in their fur; the physical sense of loss is just as amazing. I miss her in an incredible way.

2011-09-25T22:46:00.004-06:00

I don't mean to go all Anthony Robbins, but there are two ways to look at this picture. A toy all ripped apart (which it is), or a sunshine shaped toy with clouds surrounding it.

It's been nearly 3 months since Trinity had her first seizure at my house in Lakewood. When I walked in the house after taking Mira out for her morning restroom break, I found Trinity seizing hard on the living room floor. At first, my voice was strong. "What's going on, Trinity? Come on. Get up." Then I lost control. I thought she was dying and I felt helpless. I pleaded with her to stop. I called Jon. He said I was hysterical. He talked me down from the ledge so that I could help her.

And that was my first experience with a dog who has seizures.

She is nearly 7 years old. Still young. She should be young. But instead she is made old by whatever is causing these seizures. Or maybe she is made old by the seizures themselves.

This morning I awoke at 3:30 a.m. to the smell of dog feces. In the middle of the night, she had defecated and then stumbled through it. When I finally came to full consciousenss, I could see her in the corner, panting. She always hated having accidents in the house. It was so hard not to yell in frustration at having to clean the carpet in the middle of the night. It was so hard to not find a way to blame myself or to get angry with her, which would only lead to guilt later.

I called Jon and he suggested that I bring the dogs to his house for a vacation day. They could play outside in the sun while I work. We talked about putting her down. He suggested that she spend a day outside and then maybe after work.... I can't do it. I couldn't go to work and be normal all day (which I would have to be) and then go home and walk my dog into a gas chamber. That's what it feels like. I feel so terrible.

So, I decided not to do that. I am not ready. I hope she forgives me if she is ready. I am trying to read the signs. I am trying to understand when is enough and when we are still companions and when I am making her life better.

On my way to Jon's house this evening to check on the dogs, I thought a lot about Trinity. From 10 months on she was a very protective dog and pretty much dog aggressive. While her behavior was sometimes alarming (I felt like I owned a junk yard dog when out on the trail), I really apprecite how safe she made me feel. I knew that Trinity would let nothing happen to me. Mountain Lion, bear, and creepy people who may want to serial kill me. I sometimes wonder if she protects me so much because of her undying love or because I am her "object". Her belonging. I wold like to think it's a mixture of both.

I never knew how much I needed protection until now...when I find myself being the protetor...and feeling lost without mine. I miss her so much.

Losing and gaining

2011-09-25T22:12:00.000-06:00

This title should be 'Untitled' because there is really no title I would give to losing your best friend. I thought about starting another blog to grieve this loss, but decided against it. All I want to do is blog my grief, not start a cause or find some sort of definition of myself through it.

So...this is for you Trinity. Everything I couldn't say outloud, but I think that I said silently between the two of us when I hugged you and messed up the hair on top of your head.

Starting a blog topic seems like a momentuous event. I realize that this blog has been all over the place, but I imagine more than a few, if not many will be dedicated to this topic of grieving my pup. An important topic should contain an important picture. Trinity took lots of beautiful pictures. She was a gorgeous dog. And I don't just say that because she was my dog. She struck what I consider a perfect german shepherd conformation pose almost every time she stopped. She "stacked" all by herself. And she smiled as though to say, "look at me! Aren't I pretty". She would have been a natural in the ring, had it not been for that coat. Her long coat. The coat that I loved and will always adore and want desperately in another dog in the future. But...I have to be careful not to clone my love and look for her in another. Each one has to stand on their own.

Anyhow. Back to what I was saying. Trinity took lots of beautiful pictures posing. And I took a few beautiful ones with her. We both looked good. But I chose this picture. No make-up and unkept hair. I chose it because it shows the bond that I had with her. How much I adored her and loved her. Holding onto her coat and wrapping my arms around her. Burying my hands in her soft fur.

Yesterday, when she lay in her coma in the sunroom, I held her in the same way. I put my arm underneath her head, and lay my body right up next to her. She actually moved a little toward me, which gave me the greatest joy that she knew I was there. I held her as much as I could and told her that all she had to do was get up, and we'd keep trying. But she didn't get up. I wish to God she'd gotten up.

I miss her more than words can tell. I would do anything to lay her across my lap one more time and bury my head in that soft fur.

Anonimity

2011-08-30T21:56:00.005-06:00

Radio silence. It's nice in a way. Now that no one is paying attention, I don't have to worry about offending anyone. I don't have to be careful about which story I tell or which picture I post.

Have you ever known someone who is repeating themselves? I do. I know I am. I just realized this evening that the other woman in my relationship is a pack of 6 German Shepherd Dogs. The funny thing is, in my last relationship, the other woman was a bunch of middle school boys and girls. I wonder if it would be as strange if the other woman, really was another woman....

I see patterns. And I have to obfuscate them. This would be an ironic story. A man marries a woman he is madly in love with, who in his opinion is constantly going out with her friends. He doesn't like it, but lets her go because it's who she is. She cheats on him with said friends, and disappears.

So he hooks up with another chick, because he needs to pay the bills. And she likes to ride horses. He likes to ride horses. His ex-wife never liked to ride horses and he disliked that about her. They move away and follow their dreams of working with horses together. He is not madly in love, but marries her anyway.

She gets knocked up a few times and has a couple of abortions. Finally they are settled enough that when she gets knocked up again, they can have the baby who comes two months pre-mature. They divorce when the baby grows to a little girl.

The man is heart-broken. All he wanted was a family. Now his only little girl lives with his ex-wife and her lover. The other two babies got thrown away. All she wanted to do was "go" he said. She insisted they buy a horse trailer so they could take the horses and go. He bought a house in the middle of a horse community so they wouldn't have to. Why did she want to go away.

Who knows what happens in between, but eventually he meets another woman. She wants to go. She wants to go to the mountains and camp and hike and travel. She wants to write and take pictures. And he says that he bought a house in the middle of a horse community, near a state park, up against the mountains, on an acre and a half, so he would never have to go. Why does he need to go up there, when he has everything he wants, down here. She buys two dog crates and a bike rack so she can go whenever she wants and not be a burden.

He loves her, but she wants so many friends. She moved to a new community and wants to meet new people. He tolerates her search, but critisizes her finds. He refuses to socialize with her friends and becomes jealous.

All of this overwhelms the love. He breaks up with her. Now he can sit at home and grow a garden and watch the birds and raise his dogs who tear the house apart, one board at a time. He can breed his champion show dog. But he can't wake up early enough to get the dog there. He occasionally gets some time with his daughter, who is now old. She can't come over very often, because she has to care for the horses.

Mostly Alone

2011-08-29T22:50:00.002-06:00

Note to self. Always sign cards in legible hand-writing.

This evening I was sorting through things; planning to clear them out. But instead, I let a whole lot of stuff back in. Graduation cards for instance.

Cards rarely seem meaningful at the time. But given years to marinate in an old box for 10 years, the sincerity or lack thereof become very evident. Cards from ex-family members. Cards from those who used to be "we" but now are "I" as the other has passed on. Several cards from people I can't remember at all. And I have a very dialed in memory for small details. And then there were several cards where I couldn't even decipher the signed name. Very unmemorable.

Then I started through the pictures. Of how I looked when I was 20 and 21 and 22 and engaged and at my bridal show and at my wedding and on my honeymoon and on vacation number "X" to Gatlinburg. How young my brother and my sister and my mom and my Dad and all of us looked. How much we must have thought we had aged at the time. But dang we all looked so good.

Then I go through my current pictures. The last seven years or so. There aren't as many. They aren't as varied. And I find that I am pictured mostly alone. Or I am not pictured at all. I have a bazillion pictures of German Shepherds. I have many pictures of other people. I have a smattering of pictures of me with my family. And then I have me in Waterton Canyon. Or me in Alaska standing on a staircase. Or me next to the river in Breckenridge. Or me with Trinity at the Hayman Burn area (pictured).

But I want pictures of me in Glenwood Springs. I want to see me standing next to the river flowing through the canyon near Moab. I want to see me in Arches with the sunset glowing on my face. I want to see me sitting on the edge of the canyon in Canyonlands. I want to see me dating someone. I want to see me standing in the picture with the man I am dating. Asking someone else to take the picture.

I want to see us going places. Yes...this picture was with such and such friends. Oh that picture was when we used to hang out with so and so. This is a picture of us at our wedding in Rocky Mountain National Park, with the wild falls rushing behind us. And this picture is of our families having a good time at our reception. Something simple. Here is my husband and I on our honeymoon. Pick something romantic and spectacular for those shots. Here we are at year 1. Year 2. Year 3. This is a picture of our first child being born. His third birthday. Our Sixth wedding anniversary. Now that would be a great picture.

How to Make this Sound Not So Whiny

2011-05-09T23:11:00.003-06:00

I've longed for some time to sit together with friends and catch up.
I've longed for some time to meet new people
I've always felt when the right person came along, they'd show up...so there was no use looking.
I've always felt that I was strong, and could get through it.

But when you are ready to meet someone, and they haven't come through.
And you are ready to meet new people, but it's coming slower than you thought
That's when strength can be hard to find.

When I'm out in the the mountains, I feel the same way.
I've been longing to sit and catch up.
I've been longing to meet new people along the trail.
When I look at the mountains, I know God showed up.
And I don't need so much strength when I'm backed up by so much hard rock.

Deer Creek Canyon

2011-01-22T21:18:00.005-07:00

Yesterday, I ventured out into the Colorado wilderness on a blustery day! Okay...it was a Jefferson County Open Space Park. Ten steps up from John Bryant State Park or Glen Helen, for all of you Dayton, OH natives. But still...not the real wilderness where civilization is behind you.

My friend Dick and I headed south west out of the parking lot on a trail that steadily climbed away from our car. As we hit our stride and the parking lot was well out of view, I began to take in the views of the "mountains" (a.k.a foothills). Turning my head in a slow arc, I saw beautiful snow covered rocks, a ravine filled with trees and (sound of record screeching to a halt) --- a one million dollar home. That's right. Snap dab in the middle of the beginning of my lovely hike were several luxury log homes. Suddenly, my decision to carry an overnight day-pack seemed silly. Food. Water. Anything else that could have gone wrong. Well...there's the drive way.

But...the trail did ascend out of the oddly placed fringe of wealth. We eventually escaped and came to the junction of "plymouth mountain" and "meadow lark" trails.

"So, what do you think, Dick? Meadow lark or go back the way we came?"

I was kind of hoping he would say "go back the way we came". But he said "meadow lark"

The reason I wanted to backtrack was, I had traversed "meadow lark" before. Albeit from a different approach, but for me it was a terrifying experience. As much as the Colorado wilderness fascinates me, it scares me to no end. This particular trail has a narrow, exposed section to Deer Creek Canyon faaaar below. I had never traversed the entire trail, so I didn't know what to expect up to that terrifying 200 yards or so.

The trail turned out to be rather mild. I was pleased that I was not upset with some of the steeper sections. The parts that I had thought were pretty exposed before, didn't seem that way from this other approach. Maybe because I wasn't already terrified by walking the shelf.

And then she appeared. The trail was snow packed, and I feared a little icy. Dick kindly tried to think of things that would help me get through this part of the trail with as little trauma as possible. He offered me his hiking pole which I eventually took. He offered me his moral support. And I think I did do a bit better than the last time. When I was three quarters of the way to the other side, I stopped and made myself look down. When I reached the end of the 200 yards of terror, I looked back to see part of my fear. A narrow entrance to an exposed trail with snow, ice, and rock. Seems simple to many, but it gets my heart rate up and my feet to slow down.

It's strange how thinking of falling can make you lose your balance. How being afraid makes you take smaller steps. And how looking back can help you see part of what made you afraid in the first place.

Winter Camping School Part I

2010-02-08T20:47:00.004-07:00

I've begun a new adventure. It's called "Winter Camping School" with the Colorado Mountain Club. A few weeks ago, I attended my first lecture. We went over appropriate cold weather attire, cooking devices, and staying hydrated. As I stared mesmorized over the syllabus, I felt like I was holding a Little Orphan Annie secret decoder pin. This school was going to open up a winter wonderland of back-country snowshoeing for me.

But what ensued was a house of horrors lecture which mainly focused on the many (and I do mean many) ways in which you can die in the cold and altitude of back-country Colorado adventures. I felt panicky as I realized how much of the gear they were talking about I did not own. And not owning didn't seem like an option. One of the listed causes of death should have been heart attack upon reading your bill at REI.

My way of dealing with fear is humor. Or writing. Or climbing into my sleeping bag and pretending like I don't have to figure out the logistics of peeing in the snow. Or....

So, without further ado, this is what I learned during my first winter camping course lecture:

-You MUST drink water. PLENTY of water. In order to drink water, you must melt snow. In order to melt snow, you must have a stove. But make sure your stove works. Otherwise you'll have to get under the hood and do some field repair! But back to water.... If you do not drink enough water, you will get dehydrated. Or you will get Altitude Sickness. Either way, you will die.

-The next lecture was given by two women. Between the two of them, they must have owned nearly $2000 in outdoor technical clothing. What I learned is you must have proper clothing. It is imperative that you stay dry. If you get too hot, you will sweat. Your sweat will make you cold. If you get cold, hypothermia could set in and you will die. If you do not dress warm enough, you will get cold. If you get cold you will die. Make sure that you keep a nice Arizona winter temperature of approximately 60 degrees with no humidity going on under your jacket at all times. I guess winter romance is becomes out of the question...

All of this so terrified me I became hell bent on buying whatever I could to keep warm. So much so, that in a panic, I went to REI desperate for a "shell" (definitions to come), and paid $130.00 for one of the cheapest I could find and it didn't even fit. I picked up another $100 in miscelaneous items. As I tallied up the remaining items that I still had not purchased, I had another mini-heart attack. How did Jeremiah Johnson ever camp and walk around in winter without his $300 Atlas snowshoes; his $9.00 Nalgene bottle with a $12 cozy; his $130 primaloft outer shell, his $500 4 season tent....

Glossary

Hypothermia is a fancy way of saying "You will freeze to death".
REI is a camping store and that all Coloradans must have a working knowledge of.
Shell is a jacket that is worn over all of your other clothes to keep you dry. Ideally it will be waterproof and breathable. Yet another glossary term:)
Breathable fabric allows moisture to escape. It goes hand and hand with water proof.
Altitude Sickness is a mountain illness. My experience with it is a head-ache and flu-like symptoms. It's a huge topic, far beyond one bullet point.

Elk from a Ford Explorer

2009-12-28T21:26:00.001-07:00

Elk from a Ford Explorer. I watched them out my window. My side window, my windshield, and my rear-view mirror. Rear-view mirrors. They’re powerful. You get to see what’s behind you; distorted and in the past.

Rocky Mountain National Park 2009

2009-12-27T20:54:00.001-07:00

My dream come true. A light snow shoe hike in softly falling snow, simply meandering along snapping shots of whatever wandered in my field of view upon which I desired to focus.

An Evening Near Boulder, CO

2009-12-06T11:52:00.001-07:00

It's a snowy day outside and inside. This day it was warm outside and inside. Someone (who will remain nameless) did something that meant a lot to me. I was back up in Boulder county this evening, with easy views of the mountains. It felt so comfortable to be back in the area that I spent so much of my time in CO.

Trinity Puppies

2009-11-10T18:50:00.003-07:00

Puppies! Finally, Trinity puppies! I have waited years for this litter and finally it has arrived. I had to jump through a bunch of hoops and dump a ton of money on the deal to make it happen. But I knew I had to throw it all in one last time to see if it WOULD happen. It was worth every penny to hold these little ones in my arms.

Gmail addiction

2009-11-10T08:10:00.005-07:00

Do you ever find yourself sitting on the couch, pressing the "inbox" button on gmail over and over again. Some people would call it OCD. I call it, "is anyone out there?". So my gmail addiction is really a Pink Floyd song. Sometimes, I just need someone to say something out of the blue that is completely unexpected. Sometimes, I need to hear from someone that I haven't heard from in awhile.

Maybe I'm hoping it will be someone I've lost in my life, who wants to make things right and re-ignite an old friendship. I want them to remember the good parts about me, and not what they've decided to focus on. That's really what I'd like. I don't like to let go of relationships that meant/mean a lot to me. Even if it is sometimes necessary.

1 Freakin' Hour in the car

2009-11-09T18:52:00.001-07:00

And people wonder why I don't like to work. There was no good route for my evening commute. As it turns out, I chose wrong. One hour later, I'm home.

A Photographic View of Life

2009-07-26T13:49:00.006-06:00

"I have a peculiarly good memory for visual details, for certain moments. It's not exactly a photographic memory. I can't read a page of text and repeat it verbatim without looking. But I can summon pieces of my past and 'see' them as clearly as if they have been thrown onto a screen in some interior movie theater. There are times when this is more a curse than a gift...but it helps with the kinds of painting I do, and it's not the kind of thing a person can change in any case." --Roland Merullo In Revere, In Those Days.

I have photographic view of life. I remember shirts that my interviewers wore at my first professional job. I remember my first drive up to Estes Park on US 36, and my feelings of confusion at the dry, desert landscape that preceded the climb into the mountains. I remember when my ex-husband and I were dating, what it felt like dropping him off at his house, after our first week-long vacation in Gatlinburg. Not even 2 hours later, he was back at my house because he missed me.

I have a lot of wonderful memories locked away in this head of mine, filled with exquisitely fine details of the people and the places and the feelings that went with both. It is a blessing and a curse. It's a blessing to remember the things that remain true. It's a curse to remember what went wrong and why. I am haunted by a mind that is designed to make sense of every exquisite detail. But I am thankful for what that mind allows me to do. I take these details and turn them to every angle. I construct stories that resemble them; and heal with each word that brings meaning to their happiness and sadness.

Sunset at Mt. Evans

2009-07-20T19:22:00.001-06:00

Yesterday evening, I had this great idea. I wanted to see the sunset from Echo Lake near the Mount Evans Wilderness area. Though storm clouds loomed over Lookout mountain near my condo, I had to take the chance that the clouds would clear somewhere up there in the mountains. I was hopeful that the clouds would clear over me.

So, I threw Trinity in the back of the truck and we set off. We witnesed an incredible lightening storm and a brief bout of rain. Then we turned off the exit at Idaho Springs and began our drive up into the clouds. Everything smelled fresh after the rain. Even the sky seemed to have found it's own clean slate.

At this look out, Trinity and I took a break from driving and took in the beautiful view. Everywhere I looked was a little more inspiration. Finally we left this roadside pull out, and continued on to Echo Lake

The Lake was just as I hoped it would be. People were fishing from the road off it's banks. Trinity and I set off on our own course. We walked the far side, and headed into a thick pine forest. I felt safe with Trinity by my side. I knew nothing would get me as long as she was by my side. That's the upside of living with a dog that is constantly challenging you to be alpha female.

We ran back through the woods, with the temperature falling. I was glad I had the forethough to bring a jacket. I could see my breath as we ran. After arriving back at the car, I realized how lucky I was to see such beautiful things and to have such a loyal companion.

Meyer Ranch Hike

2009-07-20T19:10:00.000-06:00

My good friend Kathy and I connected this weekend to take a short hike at Meyer Ranch Park in the mountains of Colorado.

Kathy was kind enough to take a photo of me standing in the aspens along the trail.

And finally! My first ever Columbine in the "wild". The Columbine is Colorado's state flower. I was thrilled!

Alone

2009-07-15T21:06:00.002-06:00

"Look into watery old eyes and see refelected there a past that is impossible to reproduce in this fast and broken-up modern age, an age in which the younger members of the family have struck out on their own to make their fortunes, and ended up living like kings and queens on small, lonely, perfectly landscaped suburban islands" -Roland Merullo, "In Revere, In Those Days"

I live in a fast and broken-up modern age. I methodically go to work in the morning, yearing for the evening. At work I do my best to keep up an enthusiastic facade. Managers love people who look like they are enthusiastic. They love people who look like they'd rather be at work, and tolerate the task of going home. That is not me.

My profession is not a complete fit for me. It is a logical maze of problems, once solved, that only reveal more mazes of problems. It is taxing.

I live far, far away from my family. I live like a queen in that I can pay my bills easily when I am working, and even reward myself with some luxuries. But I live in a condo; my own small, lonely, perfectly landscaped suburban island. I do not have a large circle of friends. I have a large circle of acquaintances. I am beginning to resolve myself to the reality that this may be all I can achieve. At night, after work, I am spent. I have nothing left to give. Maybe if I lived closer to family, maybe life wouldn't seem so lonely.

Broad-tailed Humming Bird?

2009-06-25T20:10:00.001-06:00

In camp, I was dive-bombed by a broad-tailed hummingbird. I'm not sure why it's called this instead of "ruby-throated" but there must be some sort of difference. I think this should be the government's new un-manned vehicle destroyer. I imagine that beak stings like a needle.

WildFlower

2009-06-24T07:40:00.001-06:00

"Quiet hour

You have always been my wildflower

Showing up wherever beauty's lost its way

Your heart must break"

"I was free

Until I heard the song you sang me to me

Pulling me away from everything I knew

To be with you"

"And everything I know just fades away

And every time you go it hurts me so

I don't know why when I know we're free

Free to fly"

"Here we are

Burning faster than the closest star

Falling back down to the Earth

I love you so it sometimes hurts"

2009-06-24T07:34:00.001-06:00

"Closer still

You will find me standing on the hill

Waiting for you with my arms stretched open wide

Now, come inside"

"And everything I know just fades away

And every time you go it hurts me so

I don't know why when I know we're free

Free to fly"

"And everything I know just fades away

And when a wildflower grows it picks its space

And that's the way it is when nature plays its lovely hand

We'll understand everything

Everything, everything" -- Sheryl Crow

The Big Thompson River

2009-06-23T20:16:00.001-06:00

The Big Thompson River really isn't that "big" at all. Perhaps it was named after its length rather than its width. Or maybe its flow in the spring-time. In the Spring, after a winter of good snowfall, it speaks in a language somewhere between a roil and a gurgle.

Is the Big Thompson male or female? I would guess female, because of all the life the river nurtures. Humming birds dive bomb her waters in search of a refreshing drink. Trout swim her waters, looking for insects and dodging fly fishermen. Lilies and a myriad of other flowers drink from the marshes she creates. Elk graze on the long grasses and find shelter from over-eager tourists behind her winding banks.

The Big Thompson river in Moraine Park, a glacial basin, sustains, breeds, and protects life. She nurtures my life when I sit on her banks listening to her speak words of wisdom and peace.

"Be gentle. Slow down. Go with the flow. Or fight hard against it when you are losing your life. Let nature protect you and guide your soul. She will only guide you to the truth."

King Richard III

2009-02-15T21:36:00.004-07:00

For my Valentine date, I was treated to a wonderful performance of King Richard III. A Shakespearean tragedy, Richard III schemes, betrays, and murders his way to the throne. Having never read nor seen this play before, I was thrilled with how much I enjoyed it. (side-note: I did try to read the play ahead of time, but I ran out of time in the end....)

Aside from the cost of the tickets, it was a simple evening. My date and I arrived at The Stage theater in the Denver Performing Arts Complex very early. I loved this! Normally myself and those I am with are running for the theater door. How wonderful to stroll into the theater complex, take in the mezzanine, grab a small bite to eat, and chat with other theater goers at shared tables.

My Valentine evening was incredible, and my man gets a "Two Thumbs Up!" from me :)

Recently Published Short Story

2009-02-02T21:35:00.006-07:00

One of my short stories was recently selected for publication at Voca Femina. You can check it out @

"The Choir Boy" by Lisa Bowman

Reflecting Back & Looking Forward

2009-01-05T15:12:00.002-07:00

Taken From: The Carnival In My Head Blog by Kathy Escobar

reflecting back 2008:

• some words that described 2008…loss, heart-ache, betrayal, loneliness, broken-hearted, deception, hope, community, friendship, understanding, concerts, confession, love, abandonment, puppies, determination, struggle, family,

• the biggest surprise of this year was….my ex-husband telling me he could no longer be friends with me, breaking off all connection, getting engaged, and getting married.

• my biggest regret of the year was…not taking advantage of the last few months of the year to do more writing.

• i saw God in….Kathy Escobar, Trinity, Mira, Shaha’la, Kari Mackenzie, myself, the midst of my tears,

• one change that i made that i’m really proud of is…I let go of my ex-husband. I did not accept that he would “possibly” be friends with me again if he broke up with his girlfriend. I stood up for myself and said that I had to protect myself and could not live in that kind of relationship

• the hardest thing i tried this year was: finding a new “church” to attend. As it turned out, I found The Refuge.

• the relationship that got better this year was…my relationship with my Mom. She is beginning to accept that my ex-husband is gone and that I need to move on with my life. Even if it’s with a man that she did not approve of in the past. She said the words that she only wants my happiness. That was huge.

• some ways i felt loved by people this year were…listening to my story, sharing their story with me, walking with me in my despair, hugging me, holding me accountable for writing stories, saying “I love you” when I owe them nothing, suggesting books to read to help me with my “issues” (out of love and not out of judgement)

• some ways i loved other people this year: lending a helping hand at the Refuge, offering my support, listening, accepting,

• i tasted grace when: I told the truth of my story and I was accepted…not condemned. When my mother listened to me for 3 months

• a shift that i experienced in my faith was….that death and personal pain help me be more compassionate for others. I believe this is why God allows these things in my life. Otherwise, I might become very self-absorbed.

looking forward 2009:

• words that i hope describe 2009…love, growth, dare to (fill in the blank), camping, relationship building, healthy romantic relationships, self-acceptance, serving

• one thing i want to try that i haven’t tried before…camping A LOT this summer, and taking friends with me on my hiking excursions. Also, I would like to volunteer to help children at Joshua Station with their homework. Is that more than one thing?

• i’d really love to experience more of God’s healing in…removing painful memories from places I visited with my ex-husband. This way I can experience them afresh with others and not hurt over the past.

• the thing that i’m most afraid of about this year is…that I will go broke

• the thing i’m most excited about this year is…..the opportunity to commit myself to a different path, and not the same one that I feel forced to take.

• a relationship i really want to invest more of my heart in is….my friendship with Kimberly

• a characteristic of God i hope to experience more of is…hearing my confessions and experiencing his forgiveness

• a way i want to take better care of my heart is…by learning how to talk to God in a way that is meaningful for me.

• a dream (or two) i have for this year is…transitioning to a writing career, finishing a champion German Shepherd which will possibly lead to a new career in dog handling.

• one step toward that dream might be…writing daily and sharing that work with others.

• my wish for my family in 2009 is….that we are more honest and accepting of one another

• my wish for the world in 2009 is…that we respect and love one another.

New Puppies and a Sad Departure

2009-01-04T22:45:00.005-07:00

The American celebration of New Year is supposed to go something like this:

New Year's Resolution
Out with the old
In with the new
Par-tay!

This year my out with the old in with the new was a bit mixed up. On December 29th, just after 1pm MST, my boyfriend's dog Mali gave birth to seven healthy pups. While a few did not make it, the surviving pups eventually tipped the scale toward joy and celebration for me. "In with the New" was complete for me.

For a bit, I thought "Out with the old" referred to all of the baggage I carried around this past year. But on New Year's morning, I found out what this phrase would mean for me. Shaha'la, a beautiful twelve year old German Shepherd who had become a part of my life, suddenly became very ill. A stroke. An annurism...who knows. She could not walk, was sick to her stomach and seemed completely disoriented. We decided it was time.

I took her to a nearby animal clinic. The drive there was very sad and reflective. When Jon carried her out to my truck, I thought back to all the times she would have loved to take a ride with me. How ironic that her only ride with me would be her last.

I cried nearly the entire way to the animal clinic. They put her in a nice room for me and we lay on the floor together. I showed her my Zuni Bear and asked him to protect her. I assured her that the Bear would meet her on the other side. I assured her of my love for her and that I would be with her 'til the end. She was calm when the doctor came in to administer the overdoses of drugs. I blessed her with my Zuni bear and she cuddled against me as he gave her the first dose. She leaned back into my body and relaxed. Then the other drugs were given and I was amazed at how quickly she went. I held her there in my arms for a bit, feeling her breath on my hand from her nostrils. Then...she was gone.

They left us alone in there. I asked for five minutes. Shaha'la's spirit was hovering above me or already on it's journey to her Native people. I clipped her nails as keepsakes. Originally I planned to bury them all in a private ceremony. I will definitely do this, but I will also keep a few for my medicine bag. Shaha'la had a strong spirit and I know her strength, courage, and protection will go with me wherever I go.

Missy Higgins Concert 2008 -- Part II

2008-12-28T10:26:00.005-07:00

Missy Jamming out on one of her songs

Missy's bass player with the stand up bass

Missy is an incredible musician. Her vocals are great, her songwriting skills are phenomenal, and piano and guitar round out her repertoire.

The bass player and drummer worked really well together to create a wonderful sound for Missy's vocals

Missy Higgins Concert 2008 -- Part I

2008-12-28T10:11:00.007-07:00

Outside the venue in Denver, CO

Inside the Bluebird Theatre, pre-concert. This concert was Sold-out.

This gargoyle is a perfect example of the elegant inside of the theatre

Bootleg Communion #2

2008-12-26T15:11:00.003-07:00

Bootleg communion. It's a daring proposition. Not only are you messing with one of the oldest institutions of Christianity, but if their theology is completely correct (which I doubt) then you are messing with God too. The way I look at it is

I am getting away with something
It's exhilerating
I think of King David and his men who were hungry and consumed the consecrated bread.

I have participated in bootleg communion exactly 3x thus far. The first time at a 2006 Midnight Mass. The church was almost baptist it was so modern. I could hardly recognize it as catholic due to the praise choruses, an acoustic guitar, women serving communion, and the Irish Priest cracking jokes in his sermon.

The second time was at Easter service in 2006. Once again, a very modern church and there was nothing to it. I remembered to mumble something unintelligable and the server seemed to think that it interpretted into the correct Catholic words

Then came this Christmas. I took holy communion at an old church in Downtown Denver. Maybe I was a little too lax on observing those in front of me. Maybe I thought I knew what I was doing. I don't know what went wrong.

I always have butterflys in my stomach when waiting for and consuming the holy body of Christ and his blood. I have this nightmare of being called out in front of thousands for being a false catholic. I've always thought this was an unfounded fear. Now...I'm not so sure.

When I approached the server, he said something. Two alter boys stood at his shoulders like the good and evil angels in cartoons. He held the wafer up, I performed the "scoopy" thing with my hands...and he kept holding it. He didn't give it to me. We made eye contact for far too long (likely 2-3 seconds) and then he said "Amen". I said "Amen" too as he placed the wafer in my hands. I put it in my mouth and walked away wondering what happened. I was shaken.

Halfway up the aisle to my seat, I heard the steps and felt the wind of something approaching. I half turned and saw an alter boy coming. Was he coming to block my way? Was he coming to say something to me in front of the entire crowd? Like a speeding motorist who pulls over anticipating that the police officer has come for them, I stepped aside. But instead of me, he approached my friend in front of me. He placed an arm on him and said something to him that I didn't hear. Then he returned from whence he came.

"What did he say?" I wanted to know immediately. Some sort of self-absorbed mind set caused me to believe that the Alter Boy had come to speak to my friend about me. But how would he even know we were together.

My friend brushed me off and kept walking up the aisle toward our seats. When we sat down, I asked again.

He said, "He wanted to know whether I consumed it."
"Consumed what?" I asked.
"The wafer. They gave me two, so I tried to pull them apart as I was walking away. I didn't want to put the whole big thing in my mouth. But...I couldn't pull them apart, so I just ate it. I guess he didn't see me and was worried I'd put the body of Christ in my pocket and sell it on ebay"

No, that would be me, I thought.

"I told him 'Yes' and he walked away. Unbelievable!"

It kind of put a damper on our midnight mass. I felt like I had come closer than ever to getting caught, and my friend was deeply embarrassed that an alter boy chased him down in the aisle in front of hundreds and maybe even a thousand people. It was another successful Bootleg Communion, but not as rewarding as in times past. This time left behind a nagging guilt.

And that, is our Midnight Mass Bootleg Communion 2008

Christmas Eve 2008

2008-12-26T08:38:00.004-07:00

A fun tradition for me is attending a Christmas Eve mass. This year I attended Holy Ghost Catholic church in downtown Denver. The service was nice, but communion turned out to be not so pleasant. The guy hesitated on giving me the wafer and for a second I thought I was going to be denied. Then an alter boy went rushing toward me. Luckily he was after someone else who he suspected had not eaten the body of Christ. I thought for sure I'd been caught in my 'bootleg communion'.

This year I really out did myself with gifts. I am currently a victim of the economy, so I didn't have the bank to break on gifts. In a lot of ways, this was a good thing. It forced me to really think about how I could make small gifts more meaningful. The tree in this picture is the one I helped decorate this year. Alas, my pink Christmas tree from last year fell victim to my youngest German Shepherd's destructive phase.

Rocky Mountain Folk Festival 2008

2008-08-23T06:40:00.001-06:00

Because Missy Higgins was playing at the Rocky Mountain Folk Festival in Lyons, CO this year...I decided to throw down for some tickets. I am so glad I did. What a great time. The festival is a general admission event. This is where we setup our chairs and convinced ourselves that it wasn't too bad considering we arrived at 2:30 in the afternoon. Most of the chairs in front of us were likely set up by concert-goers who camped on-site. It pays to able to setup as early as possible.

What a cool way for the kids to keep occupied. I think a lot of adults like myself also enjoyed the river that ran by Planet Bluegrass, the concert venue. There were lots of rock sculptures, kids tubing, and adults wading throughout the afternoon.

In front of me are our new seats. By politely asking a "tarp owner" down front if I could sit there, they responded in the positive. Much better sound, could see the performers pretty well (the fence sometimes got in the way), and felt more like I was in the thick of things. Also met Josephine who had just moved to Denver from Seattle, WA. She was so sweet and sort of embodied the spirit of making new friends at an event like this.

Missy Higgins. Wow! What a great singer/songwriter. She put on a wonderful show! I was so thrilled to get such fantastic close-ups and to even record a full video of her singing "Ten Days", which is on my YouTube site.

Dolly Parton Concert

2008-08-20T22:55:00.001-06:00

I've always wanted to see Dolly in concert, and this summer she happened to have a tour date in Denver. I scooped up 4 tickets. 2 for me and a friend and 2 in case my parents were in town. The parents came early and I almost lost my money on the 2 extra tickets. But at the last moment, craigslist came through for me. The concert was awesome, thought it was VERY difficult to get a picture. No pictures or videos were allowed, and security was heavy at the event. I was lucky to get this shot. Dolly puts on a very broadway like show where she tells her life story, and also lives out her dream (I believe) of being on Broadway. It was a great show, and I'm really glad that I went.

Fire On the Mountain!

2008-08-19T08:47:00.001-06:00

Green Mountain, that is. The wind-driven grass fire was started by a lightening strike on Monday August 4th, 2005. More than 100 fire fighters from at least 10 different agencies helped fight the fire which burned a fence and melted some siding on one house. The fire was close to my condo on the north east side of green mountain, but far enough away that I did not worry about my own safety. I watched during the afternoon as approximately 900 acres was charred. Flames were visible from my condo on this hillside.

Golden Gate Canyon State Park

2008-08-04T14:45:00.001-06:00

Went hiking up in Golden Gate Canyon State Park on Sunday. We hiked a 4 mile trail up to Lost Valley trail. The main objective was to view wildflowers, exercise the dogs, exercise the people, and explore some of the beautiful country near my home.

Trinity and Mira were excellent hiking companions. For the most part, they listened very well. Both enjoyed sniffing around off trail, racing each other around the lake, chewing on some snacks that I brought along for them, and taking a dip in the pond. I think they also enjoyed hanging out with their people:)

Alas, the long awaited view of the homestead. Since the hike is approximately 4 miles in and out, I can only assume that the lake and cabin are 2 miles from the trail head. We hung out for probably 2 hours around the lake enjoying the quiet, the occasional visitors that stopped in, lunch on the front porch, and the beautiful wildflowers which were still blooming. Storms circled during late morning, but didn't materialize until afternoon...which was about the time we left the cabin. We were chased over the mountain top by thunder, lightening, and a few raindrops, but made it back to the truck before the storm arrived. Whew!

What sort of animal print do you think this is? It's larger than my german shepherds' paws. I don't think there are any wolves in the vicinity. I like to think it was some sort of dramatic animal like a bear or a mountain lion, but I really have no idea. Hmmmm...

Rain @ 5 months

2008-08-04T14:35:00.001-06:00

I attended an Obedience/Rally A.K.C. event at the Jefferson county fairgrounds yesterday. Jon brought Rain along to further her exposure to new situations. As it turned out, we had to sit on the side lines at the event because non-competing dogs are not supposed to be on the premise.

Afterward, we took Rain down to Golden. We visited the Golden Farmer's Market, took a little dip in Clear Creek, and ate some lunch up town.

Allison Kraus/Robert Plant Concert

2008-07-22T21:44:00.001-06:00

@ Red Rocks. I've been a fan of Allison Kraus since my early 20's when she did a cover on Keith Whitney's song "When you say nothing at all". Always have to go with the fun hippy attire for concerts:)

Uh...yeah. I recorded with my digital camera. I think this sign was posted pre-digital camera age.

Here's Alison singing one of the songs from the Raising Sand album with Robert Plant. Robert Plant is singing backup just behind her, slightly to the right. Allison has a haunting voice that is effortless and she plays the fiddle. Robert doesn't play an instrument to my knowledge. His voice is his instrument and he is quite the showman. Charisma.

An incredible painting of something. I love the colors. I think it's an abstract painting of the concert. I wonder if the artists were given free admission.

Homing Pigeons

2008-07-22T21:38:00.001-06:00

Jon keeps a pigeon coup in his back yard in addition to the German Shepherds. I had never held a pigeon before, so he got one out and showed me how to hold it. It felt like I was holding a heart beat in my hands...

Rain is getting big!

2008-07-22T21:32:00.001-06:00

Took Rain shopping one afternoon early in July. She quickly wore out, so I attempted to carry her. She cooperated, but it was like carrying around a 40lb sack. She's heavy! Ironically enough, rained while we were out shopping.

My Friend Flicka

2008-07-22T21:30:00.001-06:00

One of the few times in my life that I've been this close to a horse. Jon has some left over alfalfa growing wild in his yard, so he showed me what it looked like, so that I could lure his neighbor's horse over to feed and pet. What an amazing experience!

Mira on a July 4th Hike in Evergreen

2008-07-13T21:42:00.001-06:00

4th of July Hike with Mira in Evergreen

2008-07-13T21:40:00.001-06:00

Mira sniffing some wildflowers, trail side.

Mira chilling out under a tree. It was really HOT up there that day. Since when are the mountains warm?

The canvas of nature really has her stuff down

July 4th Ever Green Hike with Mira

2008-07-13T21:38:00.001-06:00

Definitely, I'll have to haul my bike up to this trail. It looks pleasant to ride on and I'll likely get further than walking.

I'm a huge fan of wildflowers!

There were no stars upon thars -- Dr. Seuss The Sneetches

July 4th Evergreen Hike with Mira

2008-07-13T21:30:00.000-06:00

All I have to say is "Thank God for 10 second self-timer"! I was able to capture the looks of pure happiness on our faces complete with mountains in the background.

no, no ,no Mira! I was trying to take another picture with the self-timer, but...alas Mira suddenly decided to get up and false charge the camera.

I love this look on her face. It seems to be saying "Are you done yet?". Kudos for cuteness Mira:)

Cuteness aside, she's one gorgeous dog! I love this photo of her wandering through the tall grasses.

July 3rd Littleton Fireworks

2008-07-13T21:26:00.000-06:00

Here I am pontificating on the meaning of "independence day" whilst waiting for the light and sound show to get on the road.

Yeah...this is how I like to roll. Head laid back, relaxed happy smile, and donning some article of pink.

The mini-burger was too delicious to escape inclusion in my July 3rd photo memorabilia. Doesn't it look tasty? Way to go Ruby Tuesdays...

More baseball, different game, different company, they won

2008-07-13T21:19:00.001-06:00

And for my 7th professional baseball game ever, I sat behind home plate on the first base line and just rows behind all the somebodies. Jon scored tickets through someone at Lockheed Martin who couldn't go. Thanks to his quick moving, he ended up with two tickets and asked me along. Thanks Jon!

Ah...Mr. Tulowitzki! I like this kid. He's so intense! And he's fun to watch. He's out on the injured/disabled list at the moment with 18 stitches in his hand. Apparently in an emotional moment in the tunnel, he broke a bat on the cement walls and it shattered into his hand.

Mr. Todd Helton. He's out on the injured/disabled list now too. Back spasms and disc problems I hear.

Mr. Matt Holliday. The Rockies played great! They played their shortest game ever in Coors Field. They won and that's all that mattered to me.

Take Me Out To the Ball Game

2008-07-13T21:11:00.001-06:00

My friend Mike Mulligan graciously invited me to a Rockies/San Diego Padres game in late June. Let's see here....This is now my 6th time to the ball park, and these were fantastic seats

I, like millions of other people, really like Matt Holiday. Here he is playing "nanny-nanny-boo-boo" with the pitcher and first baseman.

Mike and myself enjoying the game. The funny thing is that I thought the two teen-age boys sitting behind us were a boy/girl couple. One of the boys must have been pre-voice change. I thought they were pretty stupid for a dating couple, until Mike told me that they were all of 13 or 14 years old. Then I had to laugh!

Mr. Willie Taveras hitting the ball and taking off for first base. I don't remember if he made it or not. The Rockies didn't end up winning this game:(

Devoting Myself to JavaScript

2008-07-13T14:32:00.002-06:00

No, I have not taken a vow of chastity to JavaScript. And while it's been on my resume for awhile, I'm more of a JavaScript hacker than a JavaScript Programmer. With that in mind, I am currently reading the latest and greatest JavaScript Bible (6th edition) by Danny Goodman with Michael Morrison (why "with" instead of "and"?).

If I make it through the entire volume of this book, it'll be a feat. My goal is to learn more about the document object model (DOM), and understand the language from a "what is it trying to accomplish" level.

Can you tell, I'm bored and at work on a Sunday waiting for something to compile?

Sheryl Crow @ Red Rocks June 9th

2008-07-12T11:16:00.001-06:00

"...A change would do you goood, a change would do you good"

An artsy shot of the stage.

Sheryl winds down the concert with some slow songs.

Sheryl Crow Rocked Out Red Rocks!

2008-07-12T10:59:00.004-06:00

Are you Strong Enough to be my man...:)

12th Row seats at Red Rocks were awesome!

Sheryl and her band definitely rocked out!

Sheryl Crow is so rock 'n roll bad ass!

Sheryl Crow @ Red Rocks June 9th

2008-07-12T10:59:00.002-06:00

Are you Strong Enough to be my man...:)

12th Row seats at Red Rocks were awesome! My best seats so far!

Sheryl and her band definitely rocked out! From superior instruments, a full band, back up singers, and an incredible light show synchronized to the music...she had it dialed in.

Sheryl Crow is so rock 'n roll bad ass!

Brandi Carlile @ Red Rocks June 9th with Sheryl Crow

2008-07-07T07:49:00.002-06:00

All of these lines across my face
Tell you the story of who I am
So many stories of where I've been
And how I got to where I am
But these stories
don't mean anything
When you've got no one to tell them to
It's true...
I was made for you

I climbed across the mountain tops
Swam all across the ocean blue
I crossed all the lines and I broke all the rules
But baby I broke them all for you
Because even when I was flat broke
You made me feel like a million bucks
You do...
I was made for you

You see the smile that's on my mouth
It's hiding the words that
don't come out
And all of my friends who think that I'm blessed
They don't know my head is a mess
No, they don't know who I really am
And they don't know what I've been through
like you do
And I was made for you...

All of these lines across my face
Tell you the story of who I am
So many stories of where I've been
And how I got to where I am
But these stories don't mean anything
When you've got no one to tell them to
It's true...
I was made for you

Lisa & Sampson

2008-07-07T07:41:00.002-06:00

Sampson doesn't like to show professionally, but he has excellent conformation.

Sampson is Rain's Daddy

Sampson reminds me of a big teddy bear. He loves to cuddle!

Rough Draft #1: Again

2008-06-20T15:58:00.003-06:00

I drove miles to confirm
what I already knew.
I did not expect she'd be there
In the home I used to call my own.

When we came face-to-face
We negated all our change,
treat each other just the same.
We can help who we are,
But choose to ignore.

You are so guarded,
To me hard hearted.
I am so angry,
accusing and blaming
And once again
I'm trying to make you love me
Again

Rough Draft #1: This Is Me

2008-06-20T15:54:00.004-06:00

I am suffocated.
This thing we have going
is so uneven.
I am entangled
I don't want to lose you
But I don't like what "us"
is causing me to be.
I need freedom

I try to envision
What life without you
Would mean to me.
I try to keep my rules
But you want an "us" before
I even know myself.
I don't want to lose my friend
I need space.

This is me
Love me or hate me
wait around or do not date me
This is me

Rough Draft #1: No Title Yet

2008-06-12T11:47:00.002-06:00

"You think that you're so right
Relying on a self-righteous alibi
And that no one knows the truth
Except you and I.

You made a perfect lie
Out of all our days and nights
And I'm sitting here alone again

You tried last
But you did not try more more
You left me with a guilt
That no one could endure

Yet you are not to blame
For making me insane
And leaving me
On Valentine's Day"

After seeing Brandi Carlile in concert this week, I'm inspired to write more poetry and try my hand at song lyrics. Her lyrics are incredible.

Rough Draft #1: No Title Yet

2008-06-12T11:40:00.004-06:00

"You've learned you must protect us all
From every shadow on the wall
From the energy that I project.

What I see inside of you
Is every bright idea inside of me
and the darkest fears I've ever had

You are a mirror of instinct and fire
every primevil desire
pure nature versus nurture

So run along this trail with me
Believe in our pack mentality
Take a howl at the moon with me
And be wary of coyotes

You see the hatred and the liars
With all their primeval desires

Yet with instinct as your guide
I tie you up outside
As if you had selfish things in mind
As if you weren't my inner child
As if you weren't my best friend"

Crystal Creek's Rainy Day

2008-06-12T07:15:00.001-06:00

Trinity's pup....text to come

My New Guitar

2008-06-12T07:12:00.001-06:00

I bought a new guitar at Guitar Center over the weekend. I've been hoping to learn to play for the last several years, but have lacked motivation. This guitar feels great in my hands and is smaller than the loaner guitar I've been using. So far I know the opening to "First Cut is the Deepest"

Crystal Creek's Rain

2008-05-18T21:54:00.006-06:00

A fun photo of Rain

A plush coat, not mommy's long coat

Trinity's Puppy: Crystal Creek's Rain

2008-05-18T21:49:00.002-06:00

11 weeks old

2008-03-26T20:56:00.000-06:00

Don't hate me because I'm beautiful

Mira's been digging around in the South Platte River with her nose!

Mira is a big fan of fly fishing. She needs to learn to stick around a little closer, but overall she's a great fishing companion.

Hanging out on the beach.

Mira in her new bed

2008-03-26T20:53:00.000-06:00

Mira is really enjoying being an only puppy. She likes to play with all of her squeaky toys, be brushed, and chill out in her new super comfy bed.

Eating

2008-03-26T20:51:00.001-06:00

Her favorite hobby:)

Puppy in black and white

2008-03-26T20:51:00.000-06:00

It's been so much fun to watch Trinity take on a mother role. I can't wait to see what this pup grows up to look like. At 2 weeks, she sure is adorable.

Like a little teddy bear

2008-03-26T20:50:00.000-06:00

Okay...so this is a really blurry picture, but I couldn't resist. She looks just like a little teddy bear:)

Look at that Belly!

2008-03-26T20:49:00.000-06:00

She has the mommy buffet all to herself:)

Trinity's Puppy 2wks

2008-03-26T20:48:00.000-06:00

Here's another picture of Trinity's pup at 2wks. At this age she was crawling around and her eyes were opening! She is such a sweetheart!

Trinity's Puppy 2wks

2008-03-26T20:46:00.000-06:00

Good Quote

2008-03-17T10:43:00.000-06:00

"Destroying a relationship is always quicker and easier than building it up"

The One Year Plan

2008-03-13T20:58:00.004-06:00

This evening, while stumbling through the darkness with my German Shepherd on the other end of a leash that felt like it was the only life-line I had, I pledged myself to an idea that I think may be transforming for me. I am going to live the next year of my life as though it's the only one I have left. What would I do if I only had one year to live on this planet. Would I worry about getting ahead to the detriment of family and friends that I hold dear? I would likely call my parents every night just to tell them how much I loved them. I would be open and honest with my thoughts, opinions, and feelings. If people only have one year with which to love you or hate you, why not give them 100% of yourself. If they don't like "you" bold, bright, and beautiful, then it's better to find out so that you can move on to people who do. Why slave away with the expectation that next year you will receive an enormous raise. Next year...you could be in the ground. So...give it your best every day, which doesn't mean perfect...just what you have left. Don't go to bed with reserves.

Enjoy every moment, even the extremely painful ones, so on that "pretend" deathbed, you can remember what you learned from living life with meaning and purpose.

Mira's new-new favorite game!

2008-03-08T21:29:00.001-07:00

Mira Playing Fetch

Click the image to view the full web album!

Trinity's New Puppy!

2008-03-08T21:25:00.002-07:00

Der BM'er is dead:(

2007-12-13T07:04:00.000-07:00

Okay. In the interest of putting this behind me, here's what happened. I was driving to work on Wednesday morning around 9 a.m. when my windshield became obscured by magnesium chloride (a substance put down on the road by the snow plows). As I drove, splash back from passing vehicles and the vehicle in front of me made it nearly impossible to see. I thought about stopping at Morrison and clearing the windshield, but knew this would take 10 minutes or so and I had to be at work by 9 a.m. regardless of the circumstances ('cuz of this ridiculous rule the ceo has come up with). That 10 minutes would have saved me a day's worth of salary, aches and pains, and a whole lot of trouble.

As I continued past Morrison, I couldn't see at all. I put on my blinkers and tried to make my way to the shoulder by looking out the side windows. Then "bang" I collided with what I thought was a car abandoned in the snow (people do that out here). I came to a sudden stop. Through a tiny sliver of clear windshield on the passenger-side, I could see that my hood was totally crumpled up. The next few minutes are kind of a blur. I decided that I should get out of the car and see what I hit. I crawled out of the passenger side door to avoid traffic that continued to whiz by. The front of my car was in ruins. The guy I hit was a ways in front of me. He was driving a truck, so I did little damage to his vehicle. As we walked back together, asking if the other was okay, we decided that standing on the hillside was safest until help arrived. As we were standing there, a chevy cavalier nailed my BMW in the back. Then a Nissan truck came along and rear-ended the cavalier, which sent him ramming into the BMW again. The Chevy Cavalier guy was hurt and taken to the hospital. The rest of us had the pleasure of standing in the snow for the next two hours while they extracted him from his car, investigated the crashes, gathered our statements, and determined who was at fault for what. As it turned out, I was not cited because the officer decided we were both at faulf. He was pulling into the lane of traffic, I was pulling out. I don't know how that adds up to me not being at fault, but I was certainly thankful.

Two days later and a lot of time to contemplate this, I realize how lucky I am. I walked out of my car, and aside from soreness in the neck, shoulders, and arms, I am okay. Since Thursday afternoon, I have had trouble with the soreness in my arms mainly. Somehow it is causing my hands to shake and inhibiting my range of motion. I think it has something to do with the muscles being seized up from absorbing impact. Today they are shaking less, and I am having less trouble completing normal tasks (like gripping my pen, typing, picking up an object).

That brings me to another place. I feel really lucky that I will be okay in a few days. This experience has given me empathy for people who suffer injuries and need to adapt afterward to deal with their disabilities. It's been frustrating to not be able to type as fast, or write my last name the same way, or pick up a glass of water without exerting effort. How much more must it be for someone who loses range of motion, limbs, or mobility.

And another place. I drive to work every day looking forward to 8 hours later when I can drive home. I never think that it might be my last time. I always believe I'll wake up the next day. This experience has made me more aware of each moment I have. It's caused me to question afresh what the purpose of all this is. I think, the purpose is to learn to love others and shine a bright spot on their life by having an impact. Whether it's picking up the phone to connect with a friend, writing a novel, or loving those around you. That's the purpose of life, as I see it.

Snow Angels...

2007-12-09T03:58:00.000-07:00

My little snow angel, Trinity! If she had chubby cheeks, I could squeeze them and say "Christ-mas!" (reference to John Cusack movie 'Better Off Dead').

I love the wide eyed craziness of this one. Trinity, you make me laugh!

In this one, the pure ecstacy of doggie snow angel making AND chewing on the stick is too much. She closes her eyes and lets go of the stick, focusing only on the snow angel process:)

Our Weekend Snowstorm

2007-12-09T03:52:00.000-07:00

At this stage in the game, I think we had an inch or two. I'm a horrible estimate of snowfall. This was at 1:00 in the afternoon or so though. Oh yeah...this is what Trinity looks like when she senses another dog around. Or at least that's what I discovered just after snapping this photo.

Such pure joy! Trinity loves the snow. She starts out sticking her nose in it, and then dives right in and onto her back.

"Stuck, stuck, stuck!!!!" (reference to A Christmas Story). Trinity sticks her tongue out at the camera right after one of her rolling sessions.

"Only you can prevent forest fires. Only You." Oh wait...that was Smoky the Bear, not McGruff the Crime Dog. "Four score and seven years ago...". More appropriate?

Dec. 1st, 2007

2007-12-09T03:46:00.000-07:00

Happy birthday to me, happy birthday to me. Happy birthday dear Me-eeee. Happy Birthday to me:) Those were a lot of candles to light and as this photo shows, I didn't start at the center and work my way out. So there were a few very warm fingers at the end of this candle lighting ceremony.

Here I am, sucking up all the oxygen in Colorado to blow out my candles. Because of the low light conditions and the movement in the picture, there was some ghosting. I like to think that the blurred images are me in the past, or in the future. You know...some crazy ripple in time....?

Meyer Ranch Park and the Park Service

2007-12-09T03:41:00.000-07:00

Here's a shot out on that trail I was telling you about. Looks pretty level huh? Actually, after this intersection, we turned left and the way became much steeper.

The sunset that evening was gorgeous, like it is so many evenings in Colorado. The weird thing about this one is that the beautiful glow in the sky is in the east instead of the west. Hmmm....not sure why that happened.

Here I am, all helter skelter and craaazy looking 'cuz the picture is at an awkward angle! How very clever, Mike!

Meyer Ranch Park with the Park Service

2007-12-08T14:57:00.000-07:00

Mike and Tammy story hosted a "Saturday After Thanksgiving" Hike and social. The evening started with a dusk hike on the Sunny Aspen Trail at Myer Ranch park.

Mike Mulligan worked with Mike Story and has been friends with him for sometime. Here he is standing in front of a hill of sledders as we wait for more hikers to arrive

What a beautiful evening for a hike. The trail was snow-packed which made it difficult to get any traction without snowshoes or yak trax. As I was walking at the very rear of the pack, behind the normal stragglers, I realized that I was completely out of shape. I guess I need to get out on these winter hikes more often.

I loved the way the sun was shining in this photo. It looks like it actually shed some warmth on us.

Oh No You Didn't....

2007-12-08T14:47:00.000-07:00

Lisa: Oh Yes I did. I did dress my German Shepherd as a fairy tale princess. She was not amused. But she indulged me during her photo session shoot. I don't think I'll ever make her wear it again. She really did not seem to enjoy it.

Trinity (in her head): I've been low before, but this one takes the cake. Even my little tennis ball can't cheer me up. This tiara is cramping my ears, and the tulle dress is damping my spirit. I already have difficulty socializing with other dogs without the added pressure of making sure word of these little pink slippers never sees the light of day.

Working For "The Man"

2007-11-14T21:10:00.001-07:00

Well...paint me a red stapler, I'm back working for "the man". I recently accepted a new software development position and traded in my library card for a lousy computer chair and goopy keyboard at a desk that doesn't quite fit. Monday, I actually found myself texting a friend that "somebody had a case of the Mundays" and that would be me. I *would* upload a virus to the main frame, but I can't even access my gmail account (NOTE: That opinion in no way reflects the views of my new company or my own opinion for that matter, since I no longer have one. Dang those non-disclosure agreements!).

I miss staying at home all day with my pup, reading on the couch and learning important things like "how the western world came to their conclusions". I miss waking up when my body wants to. I miss my freedom. However, since I am working for "The Man", I am thankful to be learning modern software practices/tools like: the Maven build tool, structuring Java Web Applications with Struts, learning another configuration management tool, and learning how to use the JSTL. At least if I have to work for "the man", I am in an interesting environment with plenty to laugh at (mostly from corporate policies), a culturally diverse group (I've always wanted to learn about India) of people, and great things to put on my resume...just in case I need it again.

Visit My MySpace and Friends

2007-11-11T09:49:00.000-07:00

You may have noticed that I've been adding blogs and MySpace pages to my "Check It Out!!!" Links. I thought others might enjoy visiting my MySpace page and the pages of some of my friends. A friendly request though: If you visit my page, sign my Frapper Map and post a picture of yourself on it. It's so much more interesting when I know who you are. And kindly do the same for any of my friends who also own a Frapper Map. We all appreciate it:)

Halloween 2007

2007-11-01T10:50:00.000-06:00

I carved 2 pumpkins this year. Let me tell you, it was a lot of work. The patterns are called "Haunted Tree" and "Ghost". Thanks go out to Mike Mulligan who hollowed out the ghost pumpkin for me. That saved me a lot of time.

Bubble, bubble, toil and trouble....This is my intense "I'll turn you into a toad" witch look:) I'm very proud of my costume because I only paid $4 for the hat and was able to find the rest of my costume in my closet.

Me and my little minion, Trinity. I love how the curl fell on my cheek. It gives this photo all the character it has. Otherwise, it would just be another dumb picture of me and my dog.

Okay...so I am shamelessly trying to draw people to my blog with this photo. I took all of these pictures with the self-timer on my digital camera, so it's amazing they came out as well as they did.

Turn Around Point

2007-10-29T10:15:00.000-06:00

For some reason, I couldn't talk myself into going any further than this rocky section of the trail. Miles climbed up it with the sureness of a mountain goat.

Miles be nimble, Miles be quick, Miles can climb up any mountain (okay that doesn't rhyme)

Decided to add some Sepia tone to this photo. Pretty cool photo Miles!

Mount Galbraith Hike

2007-10-29T10:12:00.000-06:00

To give you an idea of how steep the slope of the mountain was. The trail switchbacked along this slope thankfully.

And there goes the trail. It felt very narrow considering the steep slope to the left. I also have a fear of heights. Miles snapped pictures with his awesome digital camera while I tried to manage my fear of heights.

The sun was setting as we made our way up the trail. Night was slowly creeping across the canyon.

My cousin Miles. He has a sweet digital camera, and like most men, has no fear. He was very understanding of my difficulty with the trail though.

Flower and Reason I don't have more photos

2007-09-24T11:01:00.000-06:00

Another beautiful flower that I wouldn't have expected to see this time of year. Not that it isn't normally blooming, I just didn't know that it did.

Ah...the reason I do not have more photos to display. I was hiking around, walking on pointy rocks, when I lost my balance and slammed my knee into another rock. It HURT! I don't get hurt very often, so the sight of my blood was a bit disconcerting. Miles, my cousin, had the idea of making this image a focal black and white. He was so right! Gross, but a good photo none-the-less.

More flowers and fall color

2007-09-24T10:58:00.000-06:00

This picture reminds me of winter. The snowy white blossoms with the deep green and red undergrowth. I guess the colors remind me of Christmas.

A view down the valley and at some distant peaks looking east. The mine below is not Caribou Mine. I don't remember the name of it.

Added some Sepia tone to this photo to give it an old-tyme feel.

Another photo that reminds me of Christmas. I love the way the longer grass contrasts with the colored leaves of whatever ground growth this is.

Fall Foliage and Flowers

2007-09-24T10:54:00.000-06:00

I love this photo with the soft focused edges. I feel like I'm peering through a hole in the forest and looking out over the evergreen slopes at Aspen gold.

A stand of Aspen along the 4WD route.

A beautiful flower being explored by ants. I seriously need to buy a wildflower book, because I love photographing them. I would also like to be able to identify my finds.

Another unknown flower. I didn't realize that flowers continued to blossom through late September in this area. I thought the wildflower season would be over.

Fall Colors

2007-09-24T10:50:00.000-06:00

I took a 4WD ride with one of my friends up to Caribou Mine Site, which is kind of west of Nederland. We saw some amazing fall foliage. These Aspen were turning some amazing colors. I've never seen them turn orange before. Only yellow.

In the distance is a stand of Aspen in the full gold glory. They are easy to spy on the evergreen slopes.

Aspen leaves just beginning to show a blush of autumn color.

Meyer Ranch Park

2007-09-23T23:07:00.000-06:00

Mulligan and I went for a hike up at Meyer Park Ranch. I managed to not find the trail head for the second time in 2 weeks. Ended up stopping at a gas station and asking the attendant. In my defense, I don't think the map was very clear. Here are some Aspen along the trail.

We hiked through Lodge Pole and Ponderosa Pine forests. In fact, one of the loops we hiked was called "Lodge Pole Loop". Aspen dotted the forest too. The Aspen were just starting to turn autumn colors at this altitude.

My good friend Mike enthusiastically points out the Bird Census Plot sign. We saw some birds down in the wetlands area at the trail head. In fact, I took Mike's bird identification book by mistake. I'll get it back to you Mike, I promise, before Trinity eats it. She ate "Our Daily Bread" a devotional given to me by the church I visited last week. I must say her choices in paper manuals and books are on point. Two weeks ago she ate a hand-out I'd been given called "Sanity". I think her gesture was symbolic in some ways:)

I think this is a Lodge Pole Pine. Not sure what the mountain is called, but highway 285 runs at its base.

Jack Kerouac 50th Anniversary at Tattered Cover

2007-09-23T23:00:00.000-06:00

Mike Mulligan and I went down to the LoDo tattered cover to the Jack Kerouac lecture. I read one of Jack Kerouac's famous novels "On The Road" over the summer. This lecture really helped me make sense of some of the things that Kerouac was trying to convey. Also, Ed White, who is "Tim Gray" in the novel was at the lecture. I thought that was really cool.

Union Station in Denver, CO. We walked by the station on our way to and fro the car. I think Amtrak trains stop in Union Station, as well as the local commuter train. In the coming years, Union Station will be rennovated to serve as a hub for the ever expanding "Light Rail" commuter trains.

The finish line!

2007-09-19T22:24:00.000-06:00

Here I am, blazing across the finish line! The last leg of the race was completely down-hill. Yeah! I'm not sure how long it took me, but I'm expecting a decent time. Just the feeling of finishing is good for me. I'm competing with myself in this series. When I'm in better shape, I can compete with others

Lakewood Trail Running Series Race #3

2007-09-19T22:21:00.000-06:00

I've been participating in a trail running series through the Lakewood, Colorado Recreation department. The first two races were held at Bear Creek Lake Park. This race was the third in the series and it was held at Green Mountain. Here one of the volunteers explains the Long course (7.0 miles). The Short course, which is the series I am racing, was only 4.5 miles. I am the racer in the foreground wearing red shorts, and a ball cap:)

Now we are getting ready to start. The course was made up of rolling hills, but it was rocky and difficult to tread at times. The trail is rutted in places by mountain bikes. I sorta felt like I was running in a ditch during those sections. Also, there were a lot of mountain bikers out on the trails at the same time we were racing. Most of them were respectful and shared the trail thoughtfully.

And we're off! I look like I only have one leg! The start was straight up hill. I don't know how long that went on. I'm a terrible judge of distance:)

I always start out toward the front, and usually end up finishing last. I am not running daily like most of these runners. I would probably do a lot better in the races if I did. I felt the best during this race though. My breathing wasn't as ragged and my legs feel stronger. I didn't walk as much as I have on previous courses. It was a good race for me.

Evening Hike, Part III

2007-09-19T00:08:00.000-06:00

Ah...the glory of some of my last shots of the evening.

Trinity and I sang together as the sun made it's way down the sky. We were so successful that coyotes in the distance began calling out to us. This did not sit well with Trinity and she did not want to sing anymore.

Last shot before heading back to the car. It was a beautiful, inspiring evening. I loved every minute of it and was thankful that I could share this with my mostly silent companion, but occasional duet singer:)

2007-09-19T00:05:00.000-06:00

Trinity almost fades into the golden grasses and the dark peaks. The evening sky continued on its dramatic journey toward dusk.

Trinity relaxes along the trail. She has learned to be a patient model, and I think she even enjoys the bond we share as I capture image after image of her majestic figure.

A silhoutte that highlights Trinity's soft, flowing hair. Even though her face is obscured, I liked the way the remaining light highlighted her outline against the evening sky.

A portrait of evening turning to dusk. The intenity of the colors and contrasts increased with each passing minute. It was like viewing a totally different sky as the transformation to darkness marched on.