Day 4:
Yesterday was a tough one. I am starting to feel sick again. I had some vertigo. Vertigo triggered panic attacks. I am glad I have this exercise to help me remember that there are happy moments in my life.
Pleasurable Experiences:
1.) I talked to a co-workers about India. We were relating stories to one another about our international friends and also discussing personal aspirations. It felt good to get out of my cube and connect with someone else.
2.) Reading The Law of Happiness and being reminded that working for money is not who we are created to be. We are also called to use our gifts and talents to contribute to the world. And this leads to happiness. I was reminded of the parable of the man who stored up his riches to make himself feel secure with his future. In the middle of the night, his life was ended. I guess he didn't need that safety net. I am trying to create a safety net, and it isn't leading to happiness. In fact, the more money I try to accumulate for safety, the more I feel like I am just working for the buck and not contributing to my happiness, nor those around me.
Appreciating a normal everyday moment:
Crawling into bed at night with my pups. Kahlan curling up in a little ball like a baby deer and staring at me with these big doey eyes. She is in season and seemed to be saying "Mommy, help..."
Friday, August 10, 2012
Wednesday, August 8, 2012
Living in the Now 08/08/2012
Day 3:
Pleasurable Experiences:
1.) One of the guys at work told me about a camping trip he was taking with friends and family. He told me how they were going to Estes Park. That he would take his kids to this mini-fun center to play minature golf and race down the burlap bag slide. He and his friends were going to camp somewhere in Rocky Mountain National Park. That sounded like a lot of fun. On top of it, he included me and wanted to know if I wanted to go. It was nice to feel included in something.
2.) An accomplishment at work. I nailed the solution to a problem I have been chasing for days. That felt pretty darn good.
Appreciating a normal everyday moment:
I took a moment out of my day to go outside and sit under the trees. I love doing this because it allows my imagination to roam. Like what's going on at that building next door? Do the landscapers love their jobs? It seems like a good gig to me; working outside. Who is that getting in their car and what is their life like?
Pleasurable Experiences:
1.) One of the guys at work told me about a camping trip he was taking with friends and family. He told me how they were going to Estes Park. That he would take his kids to this mini-fun center to play minature golf and race down the burlap bag slide. He and his friends were going to camp somewhere in Rocky Mountain National Park. That sounded like a lot of fun. On top of it, he included me and wanted to know if I wanted to go. It was nice to feel included in something.
2.) An accomplishment at work. I nailed the solution to a problem I have been chasing for days. That felt pretty darn good.
Appreciating a normal everyday moment:
I took a moment out of my day to go outside and sit under the trees. I love doing this because it allows my imagination to roam. Like what's going on at that building next door? Do the landscapers love their jobs? It seems like a good gig to me; working outside. Who is that getting in their car and what is their life like?
Living in the Now 08/07/2012
I want this exercise to become ingrained in my head. Ingrained, so that I don't have to blog about it, but rather live it. I want to appreciate each day, whether it went my way or didn't. It seems when things are going really well or the bottom has dropped out of my life, I am able to refocus and see what is important. Since I am in the "in between" I do not recognize it and can actually feel as though I am unhappy.
So here it goes. Day 2.
Pleasurable Experiences:
1.) Reading bits and pieces of my "therapy" book by Henry cloud while soaking in a hot bath. I feel like I will make progress toward my goal if I continue to put forth effort.
2.) Working in my office with the window open. I felt like I was included in the outside world. Two people were standing on the sidewalk outside talking.
Relishing a normal experience:
Walking out of work, I enjoyed the sun on my face. It was a relief to leave. It was also a relief to know that I had solved a huge problem that I had been struggling with for days. Solving a huge problem is not always a normal experience.
So here it goes. Day 2.
Pleasurable Experiences:
1.) Reading bits and pieces of my "therapy" book by Henry cloud while soaking in a hot bath. I feel like I will make progress toward my goal if I continue to put forth effort.
2.) Working in my office with the window open. I felt like I was included in the outside world. Two people were standing on the sidewalk outside talking.
Relishing a normal experience:
Walking out of work, I enjoyed the sun on my face. It was a relief to leave. It was also a relief to know that I had solved a huge problem that I had been struggling with for days. Solving a huge problem is not always a normal experience.
Tuesday, August 7, 2012
Living in the Now 08/06/2012
I am reading a book by Dr. Henry Cloud called The Law of Happiness: How Spiritual Wisdom and Modern Science Can Change Your Life. An exercise that he reccomends is savor two pleasurable experiences each day and take a few moments to relish a normal experience.
Yesterday was a hard day. It was filled with anger and doubt. Anger with myself for standing still for so long. Doubt on how to move forward, even though I know what part of it is. And I know that it will probably cause me pain.
But in my quest for a Happy life, which I am decidedly not living at the moment, I want to begin these exercises. I have hope that it can change the way that I think.
Pleasurable Experiences:
1.) Geocaching. This was fun because it made me excited about where I am. I was happy and content to explore the area that I had chosen. I investigated new places that I wouldn't have otherwise. For instance, I took some time to walk around a chapel that I had seen from the highway for years.
2.) The sound of a high school marching band in the distance. It gave me this picture of community, and how the students were practicing together for a common goal. How their participation in this group hopefully led to greater satisfaction at school, since they would find friends within this group.
Oh look at this! I am recalling a third memorable pleasurable experience. I didn't even know there was one.
3.) The sound of children screaming and playing on a playground in the distance. In the dusky light, I could see them swinging high on the swing set. So high that they were screaming in delight or fear. I am not sure which. It was a powerful emotion either way. In my mind's eye, I could see them gathering. Sitting around shooting the bull. Or chasing each other on the equipment. I imagined many of them.
Relishing a normal experience:
In retrospect I am relishing this. Petting my dog mira as we lay on the bed ready for sleep. She is so sweet and looks at me with the most sorrowful and trusting eyes.
Yesterday was a hard day. It was filled with anger and doubt. Anger with myself for standing still for so long. Doubt on how to move forward, even though I know what part of it is. And I know that it will probably cause me pain.
But in my quest for a Happy life, which I am decidedly not living at the moment, I want to begin these exercises. I have hope that it can change the way that I think.
Pleasurable Experiences:
1.) Geocaching. This was fun because it made me excited about where I am. I was happy and content to explore the area that I had chosen. I investigated new places that I wouldn't have otherwise. For instance, I took some time to walk around a chapel that I had seen from the highway for years.
2.) The sound of a high school marching band in the distance. It gave me this picture of community, and how the students were practicing together for a common goal. How their participation in this group hopefully led to greater satisfaction at school, since they would find friends within this group.
Oh look at this! I am recalling a third memorable pleasurable experience. I didn't even know there was one.
3.) The sound of children screaming and playing on a playground in the distance. In the dusky light, I could see them swinging high on the swing set. So high that they were screaming in delight or fear. I am not sure which. It was a powerful emotion either way. In my mind's eye, I could see them gathering. Sitting around shooting the bull. Or chasing each other on the equipment. I imagined many of them.
Relishing a normal experience:
In retrospect I am relishing this. Petting my dog mira as we lay on the bed ready for sleep. She is so sweet and looks at me with the most sorrowful and trusting eyes.
Monday, June 25, 2012
Tag. You're It
Blatant plagiarism on my part with the post title, by the way.
A childhood friend has a blog called She Loves You and creatively managed to create a blogspot url out of a song name that you would think is completely obsolete. I am impressed. Recently, she tagged me in a game. Here are the rules:
1) Answer the questions posed, 2) make up 11 more questions, and 3) tag 11 more bloggers to answer them.
I don't have many connections to other bloggers, so forgive me if you are not interested in this question/answer game.
1. Do you go out to dinner alone? Concerts? Movies? When you do, do you feel comfortable, or is it awkward?
I do occassionally, go out to dinner alone. I usually don't like it. Going alone reminds me that I am alone. That the person I would have preferred to eat with is not available. That he is too afraid to surprise me with a drop-in visit because of trauma in his past.
Concerts? No.
Movies? I have considered it, but have never gone. Movies aren't that important to me. I'd rather be outside.
2. Are you a "picky eater" or a garbage disposal type? Are there any foods you just won't touch?
When I was a kid, I was a very picky eater. As an adult, no so much. I have tried most western food. Sardines are on my "not palatable" list. I won't eat chicken salad anymore, because I believe it was responsible for a horrible case of food poisoning during a college spring break. Gorrila Pizza, once sampled at a farmer's market in Boulder, CO is on my "never try again" list, as well.
3. Is there something you regret not doing? Why?
A first. Too personal to answer on a blog. Or maybe I am too gun-shy to be honest about that one in such a public setting. Only best friends are allowed in on that topic.
4. Have you ever had "haters" comment on your blog? If so, what did you do? Either way, do you ever worry about readers' responses to what you write?
I have never had a "hater" on my blog. I don't think I say anything that controversial. Occasionally, I have had complaints from a real life person who didn't think I should feel a certain way. I have worried what my readers would think. In the past there were two readers with conflicting agendas, both of whom I liked. If I were with one, the other would complain and vice versa. I am glad that neither read my blog any longer.
5. If you had to choose, would you live in the middle of the city or the middle of the country?
Middle of the country. I've been living in a hellish suburbia for the past 5 years called Lakewood, CO. I can't explain how much I would like to be rid of my neighbors. I am amazed at some of the things that they think are perfectly acceptable as "renters". Yesterday I found a pair of spandex shorts (I am generously not calling them underwear) in our shared stairwell. I snobbishly own my condo.
6. If you had to say, do you think you are an introvert or an extrovert? Do you associate "shy" with introverted?
I am in the middle, according to the Meyer-Briggs assessment. At work I tend to be more social. At home I tend to be more introspective. I am an INFP. I do not associate "shy" with introverted. I associate my comfort level with being by myself. In fact, I get irritable if I don't have alone time. An old acquaintance described this as his "only child" time.
7. If money wasn't a concern, what would you do? Quit your day job? Travel? Exactly what you are now?
I would quit my day job. For sure. I would travel around the state of Colorado and see all of the beautiful things it has to offer. I would write two books. One would be a book of photographs. It would contain places and people. For the places, I would write about how I was touched by this place. For the people, I would tell their story. The second would be the beginning of a series about a girl and her dog. Growing up I always imagined my life would be much better with a dog. I now know that dog I had envisioned as a young child was my late Trinity. I would like to inject her into a story for other little girls to find her.
8. Are you a news junkie or are you blissfully unaware of what's going on until someone mentions it on Facebook or on your favorite blogs?
I am vaguely aware of what is going on around me. I used to be blissfully unaware, but then I realized there were things going on that I didn't want to happen. So I became a little more engaged. Mostly, I don't want to become so involved in the media that I feel angry. I feel like the news is meant to evoke a negative emotion, and I don't like that feeling.
9. If you were stranded on an island but could bring music, what album would you bring?
I have no idea. Probably Sheryl Crow's greatest hits. There's a lot that resonates in her music with me.
10. What are your thoughts on this new Shades of Gray hype? Have you read it?
I have not read it. I have heard about it. I am not sure what my thoughts are, but it does creep me out when someone posts about it on Facebook. Isn't it erotic fiction? I think some people are discovering this genre for the first time. Read The Mammoth Hunters, people. It's pretty graphic and available in your junior high school library.
I'm no prude, and I probably have a better imagination than she does, but if my 13 year old niece mentions it, I am going to be disturbed.
11. How do you feel about plastic surgery? Would you get it? Have you already had some done?
Funny you should ask. I had a splinter in my thigh from a run-in with the retaining wall at my condo complex. It has left a scar. My cousin suggested I talk to a plastic surgeon, since my physician did not think that the scare would heal. I actually thought about it....
My own token 11 questions:
1.) Is there one place in the world that you can go and feel complete and total peace? Describe it.
2.) Where is your favorite vacation spot? What is your mother's maiden name? Place of Birth.... Wait :) Scratch this question.... Over personal :)
3.) Have you ever taken the Meyer-Briggs Assessment? If so, what was your personality type? You can look it up online and take a mini-version if you like.
4.) Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom in life? If so, what did it look like for you?
5.) Seriously, where is your favorite vacation destination?
6.) What is the last thing you worried about?
7.) How many times have you fallen in love?
8.) Would you ever consider going on vacation by yourself?
9.) What is your favorite book and why (okay...that's two questions :)
10.) If you could live anywhere, where would "anywhere" be?
11.) What is the scariest thing you can think of?
Tag, you're it:
She Loves You
WeKnowSnow
Kathy Escobar
If you have a blog that you would like for me to add: I have a spot for 8 more people to tag. Then you can answer the 11 questions and let me know what you think.
A childhood friend has a blog called She Loves You and creatively managed to create a blogspot url out of a song name that you would think is completely obsolete. I am impressed. Recently, she tagged me in a game. Here are the rules:
1) Answer the questions posed, 2) make up 11 more questions, and 3) tag 11 more bloggers to answer them.
I don't have many connections to other bloggers, so forgive me if you are not interested in this question/answer game.
1. Do you go out to dinner alone? Concerts? Movies? When you do, do you feel comfortable, or is it awkward?
I do occassionally, go out to dinner alone. I usually don't like it. Going alone reminds me that I am alone. That the person I would have preferred to eat with is not available. That he is too afraid to surprise me with a drop-in visit because of trauma in his past.
Concerts? No.
Movies? I have considered it, but have never gone. Movies aren't that important to me. I'd rather be outside.
2. Are you a "picky eater" or a garbage disposal type? Are there any foods you just won't touch?
When I was a kid, I was a very picky eater. As an adult, no so much. I have tried most western food. Sardines are on my "not palatable" list. I won't eat chicken salad anymore, because I believe it was responsible for a horrible case of food poisoning during a college spring break. Gorrila Pizza, once sampled at a farmer's market in Boulder, CO is on my "never try again" list, as well.
3. Is there something you regret not doing? Why?
A first. Too personal to answer on a blog. Or maybe I am too gun-shy to be honest about that one in such a public setting. Only best friends are allowed in on that topic.
4. Have you ever had "haters" comment on your blog? If so, what did you do? Either way, do you ever worry about readers' responses to what you write?
I have never had a "hater" on my blog. I don't think I say anything that controversial. Occasionally, I have had complaints from a real life person who didn't think I should feel a certain way. I have worried what my readers would think. In the past there were two readers with conflicting agendas, both of whom I liked. If I were with one, the other would complain and vice versa. I am glad that neither read my blog any longer.
5. If you had to choose, would you live in the middle of the city or the middle of the country?
Middle of the country. I've been living in a hellish suburbia for the past 5 years called Lakewood, CO. I can't explain how much I would like to be rid of my neighbors. I am amazed at some of the things that they think are perfectly acceptable as "renters". Yesterday I found a pair of spandex shorts (I am generously not calling them underwear) in our shared stairwell. I snobbishly own my condo.
6. If you had to say, do you think you are an introvert or an extrovert? Do you associate "shy" with introverted?
I am in the middle, according to the Meyer-Briggs assessment. At work I tend to be more social. At home I tend to be more introspective. I am an INFP. I do not associate "shy" with introverted. I associate my comfort level with being by myself. In fact, I get irritable if I don't have alone time. An old acquaintance described this as his "only child" time.
7. If money wasn't a concern, what would you do? Quit your day job? Travel? Exactly what you are now?
I would quit my day job. For sure. I would travel around the state of Colorado and see all of the beautiful things it has to offer. I would write two books. One would be a book of photographs. It would contain places and people. For the places, I would write about how I was touched by this place. For the people, I would tell their story. The second would be the beginning of a series about a girl and her dog. Growing up I always imagined my life would be much better with a dog. I now know that dog I had envisioned as a young child was my late Trinity. I would like to inject her into a story for other little girls to find her.
8. Are you a news junkie or are you blissfully unaware of what's going on until someone mentions it on Facebook or on your favorite blogs?
I am vaguely aware of what is going on around me. I used to be blissfully unaware, but then I realized there were things going on that I didn't want to happen. So I became a little more engaged. Mostly, I don't want to become so involved in the media that I feel angry. I feel like the news is meant to evoke a negative emotion, and I don't like that feeling.
9. If you were stranded on an island but could bring music, what album would you bring?
I have no idea. Probably Sheryl Crow's greatest hits. There's a lot that resonates in her music with me.
10. What are your thoughts on this new Shades of Gray hype? Have you read it?
I have not read it. I have heard about it. I am not sure what my thoughts are, but it does creep me out when someone posts about it on Facebook. Isn't it erotic fiction? I think some people are discovering this genre for the first time. Read The Mammoth Hunters, people. It's pretty graphic and available in your junior high school library.
I'm no prude, and I probably have a better imagination than she does, but if my 13 year old niece mentions it, I am going to be disturbed.
11. How do you feel about plastic surgery? Would you get it? Have you already had some done?
Funny you should ask. I had a splinter in my thigh from a run-in with the retaining wall at my condo complex. It has left a scar. My cousin suggested I talk to a plastic surgeon, since my physician did not think that the scare would heal. I actually thought about it....
My own token 11 questions:
1.) Is there one place in the world that you can go and feel complete and total peace? Describe it.
2.) Where is your favorite vacation spot? What is your mother's maiden name? Place of Birth.... Wait :) Scratch this question.... Over personal :)
3.) Have you ever taken the Meyer-Briggs Assessment? If so, what was your personality type? You can look it up online and take a mini-version if you like.
4.) Have you ever felt like you hit rock bottom in life? If so, what did it look like for you?
5.) Seriously, where is your favorite vacation destination?
6.) What is the last thing you worried about?
7.) How many times have you fallen in love?
8.) Would you ever consider going on vacation by yourself?
9.) What is your favorite book and why (okay...that's two questions :)
10.) If you could live anywhere, where would "anywhere" be?
11.) What is the scariest thing you can think of?
Tag, you're it:
She Loves You
WeKnowSnow
Kathy Escobar
If you have a blog that you would like for me to add: I have a spot for 8 more people to tag. Then you can answer the 11 questions and let me know what you think.
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