But what ensued was a house of horrors lecture which mainly focused on the many (and I do mean many) ways in which you can die in the cold and altitude of back-country Colorado adventures. I felt panicky as I realized how much of the gear they were talking about I did not own. And not owning didn't seem like an option. One of the listed causes of death should have been heart attack upon reading your bill at REI.
My way of dealing with fear is humor. Or writing. Or climbing into my sleeping bag and pretending like I don't have to figure out the logistics of peeing in the snow. Or....
So, without further ado, this is what I learned during my first winter camping course lecture:
-You MUST drink water. PLENTY of water. In order to drink water, you must melt snow. In order to melt snow, you must have a stove. But make sure your stove works. Otherwise you'll have to get under the hood and do some field repair! But back to water.... If you do not drink enough water, you will get dehydrated. Or you will get Altitude Sickness. Either way, you will die.
-The next lecture was given by two women. Between the two of them, they must have owned nearly $2000 in outdoor technical clothing. What I learned is you must have proper clothing. It is imperative that you stay dry. If you get too hot, you will sweat. Your sweat will make you cold. If you get cold, hypothermia could set in and you will die. If you do not dress warm enough, you will get cold. If you get cold you will die. Make sure that you keep a nice Arizona winter temperature of approximately 60 degrees with no humidity going on under your jacket at all times. I guess winter romance is becomes out of the question...
All of this so terrified me I became hell bent on buying whatever I could to keep warm. So much so, that in a panic, I went to REI desperate for a "shell" (definitions to come), and paid $130.00 for one of the cheapest I could find and it didn't even fit. I picked up another $100 in miscelaneous items. As I tallied up the remaining items that I still had not purchased, I had another mini-heart attack. How did Jeremiah Johnson ever camp and walk around in winter without his $300 Atlas snowshoes; his $9.00 Nalgene bottle with a $12 cozy; his $130 primaloft outer shell, his $500 4 season tent....
Glossary
- Hypothermia is a fancy way of saying "You will freeze to death".
- REI is a camping store and that all Coloradans must have a working knowledge of.
- Shell is a jacket that is worn over all of your other clothes to keep you dry. Ideally it will be waterproof and breathable. Yet another glossary term:)
- Breathable fabric allows moisture to escape. It goes hand and hand with water proof.
- Altitude Sickness is a mountain illness. My experience with it is a head-ache and flu-like symptoms. It's a huge topic, far beyond one bullet point.
