Growing up, my mom always kept a record of the year. She would write down everything on the free insurance calendar that came in the mail. Everything from our first day of school, to Doctor's appointments, or extracurricular activities. I wonder if she still has all of those old calendars.
I used to save calendars; like the one that I kept for the first year after my divorce. It's interesting to read what appointments I had or which activities I participated in. It's interesting to read how I was discovering myself. This blog was in a sense a record of that self-discovery of myself as an individual.
And then, it turned really wrong. I fell back into old patterns. Patterns of allowing myself to be controlled. Patterns of "standing still". Patterns of putting my head in the sand.
So it's time to take a look back and see where I was last year at this time. Or last month at this time. Or last week at this time. And decide if this is really where I want to be.
I have a feeling that in some ways it is and in other ways, it is not.
